I am a 35-year-old man not in need of a wife, but my parents are keen on bringing me one. I am living with my parents at our ancestral house near Berhampur in Odisha. I am an MBA holder, but I quit my job in Chennai and came back home a year ago because my father needed my help to manage our landed property and small businesses. I am better without a wife because I can manage my life well and do not need female intimacy, though I am not gay. I have rejected all three marriage proposals my parents brought for me in the last two months. How do I stop my parents from bringing in any more?
— M** N**
(The name is withheld to protect identity.)
Dear M,
First, let me reassure you that there is nothing unusual about not wanting to marry. Society often assumes that everyone must eventually settle down with a spouse, but adulthood comes with the freedom to choose the life that suits you best.
From your letter, it appears that you have thought carefully about your situation. You left a professional career to return home and support your family. You seem comfortable with your current lifestyle and do not feel a strong desire for marriage or romantic companionship. That is a valid position.
The challenge here is not really marriage; it is communication.
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Your parents are likely acting out of concern rather than interference. In many families, especially in smaller towns and traditional households, parents see marriage as a form of security. They worry about who will stand beside their child in later years, who will share responsibilities, and who will provide companionship when parents are no longer around.
The more you simply reject proposals without explaining your deeper reasons, the more determined they may become to continue searching.
Instead of saying, “I don’t want this proposal,” try having a calm conversation about the bigger picture. Tell them honestly that you are content with your life at present and that you are not ready for marriage. Make it clear that your decision is not a rebellion against them or a criticism of marriage itself. It is simply your personal choice.
At the same time, avoid making absolute declarations such as “I will never marry.” Life has a way of surprising us. What feels right at 35 may evolve at 45 or 55. Leaving room for possibility can reduce tension while still protecting your current wishes.
You may also wish to ask yourself a question: are you choosing not to marry because you genuinely prefer a single life, or because your responsibilities toward family and business currently leave little space for another commitment? There is no right or wrong answer, but it is worth reflecting on.
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For now, the solution is respectful firmness. Thank your parents for their concern, acknowledge their intentions, but clearly state that you do not wish to consider any further proposals at this stage.
A marriage entered into to satisfy parental expectations rarely benefits anyone. A marriage entered into by genuine choice has a much stronger chance of success.
Live honestly, communicate kindly, and allow both yourself and your parents time to adjust to a path that may not look like the one they imagined.
Yours sincerely,
The Guru.
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